it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
