Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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