Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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