Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
