I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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