Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he puts the penis in happiness.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
