Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What a dumb baby whore.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
