i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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