This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
