Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize