The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
