OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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