epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
