look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
