Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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