I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
