Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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