At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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