This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drunk walkin through police station. America
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
