Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
