You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
