We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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