I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
