Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
3 2 1 whiskey
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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