I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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