and she was petting her beer can
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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