I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
