i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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