You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
