so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
