That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
honey bunches of taint.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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