I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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