We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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