our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
