if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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