I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
