so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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