I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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