OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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