yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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