Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
