Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
