and she was petting her beer can
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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