Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize