that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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