I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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