I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
