Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
