I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
