Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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