how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My penis needs a shock collar
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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