we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
