Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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