Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
