Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize