party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
