you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
