I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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