i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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