Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
