I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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